it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
