I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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