remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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