You made me cry and you don't even care
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
