He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
