seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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