Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
