Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
