Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize