upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
