I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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