But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
