omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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