i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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