through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
