How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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