She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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