remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
