watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
