I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
sarcasm needs its own font
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
