Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
