One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
