They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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