I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's always time for handjobs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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