My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
