ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
