between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
