He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
