I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
