playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
