I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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