Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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