I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
