My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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