yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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