did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
