so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
