I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
