don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
