I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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