I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
