I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
