i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
