she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
