I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
