is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Pooping to opera.
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