People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
