I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
