Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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