He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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