Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
