I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
