im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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