I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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