Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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