Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
