Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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