she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
